Monday, May 11, 2009

Breakfast Commentary


Well, you see them everywhere, but primarily in queue awaiting the certainty of a sublime narcosis induced by amounts of food so vast that any expectation of quality is irrelevant. What is it that has attracted such legions of professional buffet goers? And, they continue to spawn generations of devotees. How did things devolve to such a state?

I have a theory that is co-mingled with the same ingredients that gave rise to this slothful herd of grazers, as with those forces that also created the culture of entitlement! For the love of God, how many breakfast platters, strewn with fields of a disgusting mush of potatoes, diced peppers, well beyond their productive lives, infested with mismanaged rashers of bacon, or worse yet "facsimile" of sausage, overly faux buttered toast points, and no less than 6 extra large eggs (cooked to your preference) can be consumed, or worse yet, enjoyed. Everything about this meal is horrid. I am not sure, but many top chefs have been said to judge the career potential of a new intern by their ability to prepare a simple scrambled egg. Yet many of these "value" restaurants breed a staff of line cooks that can neither scramble, poach, nor fry an egg without out ruining its intrinsic characteristic.

There is hope: I plead with you to take notice of the varying breakfasts enjoyed by millions of people: inexpensive, highly nutritious, satisfying, and easy to prepare:

China: Gee Ha Wot Mein - wonton noodles (simmer skins cut into strips in boiling water for a few minutes, drain) and top with oyster sauce, light soy sauce, sesame oil, sesame seeds and a little chile garlic paste

India: idlis and dosas with tea and milk, often with samosas (wow! you could have mimosas with this too! - not Indian but the orange juice and champagne concoction has an appealing symmetry!)

Switzerland: muesli - grains with nuts, and yogurt

Mexico: huevos rancheros..... and so on.

Yet many of you still cringe at the thought of departure from mainstream breakfast fare. You know who you are, and do care one whit what people in Tibet or the Maldives have for their morning meal. (You are neither compelled to go blog surfing to find the perfect breakfast alternative).

So, have some fun, do a little research, and for some special occasion, please depart from the same old boring, lackluster breakfast. (Yes, I too, but infrequently, enjoy the elusive, expertly crafted homemade biscuit with sausage gravy, but I can assure you that it is not prepared by that ilk that slings up the breakfast platter spectacular!)

5 comments:

  1. Ever tried a buffet in a fine restaurant in Vegas? Worth it!
    Is this really about bad breakfast or about bad buffets? Because I would add that Chinese Buffets, Country Buffets and even, gasp, a few Indian Buffets contribute to the creation of and catering to the average taste buds.
    So, are we to always eat breakfast in-house? And, if so, no eggs and toast? That's ok by me--I like scrambled tofu anyways.
    P.s. I heard from a very reliable source that YOU liked the biscuits at Cracker Barrel...Isn't that made by the very breakfast platter slingers?
    Signed: one of your family members who shall remain nameless

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  2. Well, that was unexpected!! Perhaps I should be a bit more comprehensive about the boundaries of my pontificating! And the answers are (1) Yes, to Vegas (I agree); (2) Yes, there are those ethnic buffets that are ghastly; (3) in-home eating is the preferred option when the only alternative is the breakfast platter; (4) I will have you know, that the Cracker Barrel makes a very respectable biscuit, well crafted and sublime. I know who you are and I will chase you on this blog site to hell's kitchen and back!

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  3. When is the breakfast platter the "only" option? You're eggstra dramatic about this issue...
    Do you have a good huevos recipe?
    No comment about HK, except the American version is so much weaker than the British one. For now, you can put this comment "in the bin."!
    LOL

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  4. The breakfast platter is ubiquitous, far out of proportion to what most people in the world eat. After all, the point of this blog to to expand awareness of the options. You can parse any menu in the US and find the same old, same old, uninspiring offerings. It has ben lots of fun chatting with you, and I am pleased that at least someone has read this little opinion piece. Now, go to Las Vegas and eat something at Wolfgang's.

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